I have dozens of posts I didn't publish.  I didn't get better.  I got worse until I found a decent place to stay for awhile.  But I've been realizing for some time now that my life is almost over, and without ever knowing what it feels like to feel good.  And I've had to be ok with that because that's just how it is.  I may exit.  I may not have the courage and instead  just let myself fall back into dementia. 

Benji, somehow, come and get me and take me home. 

Ciao mundo maravilloso!