Friday, May 12, 2017

Except it's not ME

Myalgic encephalomyelitis is secondary, as is lupus and Sjogren's and the myriad other maladies for which I am providing sanctuary.  My own thoughts are that homo sapiens is just a fragile species.  We've only been around for about 150,000 years.  The Neanderthals hung around for about 400,000 years in the same form till we ran them right off the earth after interbreeding with them.  According to the company "23andme", I have about 2.5% Neanderthal DNA. Dinosaurs only hung out here for about 175 million years.  But the shrew - a truly remarkable mammal - survived the Cretaceous-Paleogene extinction, and survives today in various forms.  We evolved from this tiny mammal.  But we homo sapiens haven't been around very long.  And we now subsist on power grids and technology.  How long can that last?  We are a frail species indeed.  We can no longer adapt to our environment.  We force our environment to work for us.  Nature is a force not to be reckoned with.  50,000 years ago, I would have been left for the lions.  The group's safety and continued survival depended on leaving the weakest of us behind.  I am the poster child for weak and frail.  So why can't I die? Because there are no hungry saber tooth tigers where I live.  And I use the term, "where I live" loosely.  I'm alive.  And at present I'm lying in a cold RV.  Therefore I am living in an RV.  Last week I lived in a hotel.  And for one night I lived at David's Hoarding House but the stench and filth was too much so I went to Dawn's, knowing what a mistake it would be... and it was.  But for two nights I lived at Dawn's.  Now I live in an RV beside a lake that is drying up.  I never live anywhere long enough to put in a change of address.

Back to ME being secondary - this Thing is in my spine, and has been since the moment I hit the concrete on the ground floor of Stoltzfus' barn.  But in 40 years, with socialized health care, do you think I could get anyone to take a look at my spine?  We've done MRIs and CTs and motility tests and barium X-rays and tilt table tests and everything but a scan of my entire spine.  

I am so tired. So so tired.


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